


giving up the one i tried to protect

by thor_odinson



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, kinda angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-02
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 14:45:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19064788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thor_odinson/pseuds/thor_odinson
Summary: Belle is devastated. Giving up her son on the day of his birth was something she never imagined.





	giving up the one i tried to protect

**Author's Note:**

> originally posted [here](https://m.fanfiction.net/s/12251954/1/Giving-Up-the-One-I-Tried-to-Protect/) on my fanfiction.net account.

I gave him up.

He's gone.

He's  _gone._

My Gideon. My hero.

He's  _gone._

_Gone._

I feel the sobs course through my body, shaking me by the shoulders. The tears fall and my hands fist around the bed sheets. My cries mock me.  _You couldn't protect him. You gave him away._  But I had no choice. His father would ruin his life. Just like he ruined mine.

The tears don't stop falling, my body doesn't stop shaking. My hands are gripping the sheets so hard that it's painful. A scream catches itself in my throat. It's stuck. I need to scream.

No I don't.

I need my son back.  _But you can't have him. He's gone._

Memories, fantasies run through my brain. Memories of what our lives would have been like had we been normal.

But we're not. That's why he's gone. That's why I had to give him up. My baby is  _gone._  I could have held onto him for a few more months. I could have had him for  _longer._  But I couldn't have.

I can't stop crying, can't stop shaking. The sobs run down to my legs and soon I am kicking and screaming and yelling. Suddenly an arm slides around my shoulders, holding me upright. Long hair falls over my arms as Emma pulls me close, as I cry against her stomach. Her cheek rests against my hair.

I feel my sobs quietening down until they are just whimpers. I hold onto Emma's arms as I feel my face start to tingle with the aftermath of the tears.

Gideon... he's gone... I will never get a chance to hold my dear son in my arms again. And that is  _not_  okay.

I look up at Emma, whose own face is streaked with tears. I try to smile. I fail. I  _can't_  smile.

Not now.

Not yet.

Not ever.

Because I had to lose the person I love more than anything.

And that hurts like nothing I'd ever imagined.


End file.
